Gary Neville To Take The Reins At Anfield?

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Monday, 4 October 2010

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Strange days at Anfield, with the mighty Reds stuck down in the bottom three, Fernando Torres suffering a hair colour crisis, Jamie Carragher developing a cockney accent to appease his bezzy mate Joe Cole, and Roy Hodgson's job on the line...

Step up a new saviour - none other than Manchester United and England veteran full-back Gary Neville.

Rumours that Gary Neville is a Red because he hates Scousers, as vociferously stated so often by Manchester United fans, have been vehemently denied by those in the know.

And with Roy Hodgson's status at Anfield coming under intense scrutiny, Gary Neville has been touted by those in the know as 'just the man for the job.'

But cynics have questioned if Gary Neville is up for such a high profile accent-twisting leap of faith.

"I think he's made for the job," Sir Alex Ferguson reportedly said, although it isn't clear who allegedly heard him say it. "Gary Neville's just the man to put them back up on their effin perch."

Although Gary Neville was unavailable for comment, as he was reportedly sticking voodoo needles into a wax effigy of Alan Hansen, top Kopite Micky McWhack told Skoob Sports News:

"Gary Neville? Are youse serious? He's a Manc inne? Mind youse, he couldn't do worse than what we's have got now like, an dat. An' 'is brudder does play for The People's Club, so I s'ppose dere is a birruva Scouse connection...shite, we're clutchin' at friggin straws now aren't we?"

Rumour has it that should Neville take over at Anfield, he will insist on appointing chirpy Scouse comic John Bishop as his assistant, Paul O'Grady as reserve team coach, and Ricky Tomlinson as Commercial Manager.

"That'll fuck 'em right up!" enthused Manchester United fan Jarbo the Killer as he collapsed in a hysterical heap of unrestrained mirth at The Dog And Partridge, a stone's throw away from Old Trafford.

Roy Keane wouldn't comment as he was walking the dogs.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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