Jennifer Thompson sacked by Manchester United

Funny story written by Everyman

Sunday, 12 September 2010

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Physiotherapy was making players soft - and hard

Jennifer Thompson, close friend of Wayne Rooney, has become one of the premiership's first high profile casualties.

Appointed as physiotherapist to the club only days ago, as reported by this website, Jennifer Thompson was told to pack up her perfumed oils and massage table and sling her shapely hook.

"I am afraid she had a rather negative effect on the players" Alex Ferguson told us - after telling the BBC website to f*ck off."They would go in for a routine session of physio, but instead of coming out relaxed and refreshed they would emerge exhausted - albeit extremely happy."

Ferguson said that although he is a great admirer of Ms Thompson's talents - he felt that he needed someone more rugged who is more suited to a male locker room. "We are in talks with the female South African eight hundred metre runner champion, Caster Semanya."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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