Gay Cuban Catcher Called Up to the Mets

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

image for Gay Cuban Catcher Called Up to the Mets
Enrico "Dirty" Sanchez, taking a few balls at the plate for the Mets.

Enrico Sanchez, openly gay but proficient catcher in the Mets minor league system, was called up to New York this past weekend in an attempt to fill the hitting void behind the bag, as it were.

Quietly defecting from Cuba in a rubber inner tube stolen from a K-Y delivery truck, Enrico "Dirty" Sanchez was happily accepted into the Mets farm system based solely on his hitting and defense statistics from Club Almendares in Cuba. Amazingly, in six years as a Cuban league catcher, Sanchez did not allow a single "passed ball" from any pitcher.

"Nobody takes a couple of balls off the chin like Sanchez", says Mets recruiter, Arn Aleekidge. "He always kept balls in front of him, so he could still make a play at the bag".

Sanchez had also developed a reputation for falling on top of his opponent in a play at home plate, which acted as a deterrent for runners to try and score in a slide. "Yeah, Sanchez has a way of reaching in for a little extra, after he makes the tag. It tends to keep fellas from wanting to score from third base", says Aleekidge.

Teammates don't seem to mind Sanchez's lifestyle preference, or competitive drive behind home plate. "The locker room is full of sausage, and it ain't like we're not used to having these sorts of boys on the team", says Met's third string outfielder, Manny Terwiliger, speaking of gays in baseball. "Hell, practically the whole Mets organization is gay, except me of course. Just avoid Sanchez's right hand if he offers to shake yours. He didn't get that nickname for nothin".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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