Poor old Hammers

Funny story written by j.w.

Sunday, 15 August 2010

'So the Hammers didn't do too well in their first match, Penny' her brother Seb remarked.

'It is at times like these when we must stand by the team.'

'They are losers, Penny.'

'They lost one game - away. We will bounce back. You see. I'll be there with Terry to cheer them on next Saturday.'

'Why don't you support a team like Chelsea?'

'They are full of West Ham rejects!'

'Rejects? Some of the best footballers in the country.'

'Seb, you haven't a clue. Our manager Avram Grant was the best manager Chelsea ever had. Anyway it is so good when we score a goal or even win a game. All those fans used to having wins get bored with it. For us it something really special.'

'And unusual.'

'Terry says the first so-called goal by Aston Villa was offside and that made all the difference. Also Aston Villa poached our colours and that gave them an unfair advantage.'

'You're clutching at straws.'

'Not at all. Avram is going to pull the team together, just you see.'

'I might die waiting. I hear your best player Carlton Cole is probably off to Liverpool.'

'That's just gossip. You hear these transfer stories all the time.'

'We shall see. I imagine he isn't the only one who wants to get out and play for a decent team.'

'The Irons have the best fans in all the country.'

'But you need a footbal team.'

'We've got one. You won't be making nasty remarks when Avram takes us up the league and to an FA Cup win.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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