Written by Morse

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

image for George Steinbrenner Names Billy Martin as Manager of Team Made in Heaven
Taps Played for George Steinbrenner as He Arrives to Take Over "Team Made in Heaven"

George Steinbrenner, contentious owner of the New York Yankees baseball team, was back arguing with Billy Martin, the manger he loved to hate, in heaven today.

Steinbrenner's late arrival at the pearly gates was announced by Bob Sheppard, 99, long time stadium voice of the Yankees, a position he held for over 56 years, and who predeceased George by 2 days.

God had no comment on the announcement, but was said to be looking forward to coming contests pitting the NY Angles against the California Devils, a matchup certainly to create more intense interest than George's legendary battles against the Boston Red Sox.

Steinbrenner, 80, who had been in failing health, passed away leaving a legacy in baseball history as a guy who hated to lose, who also hated passionately, but was just as likely to embrace his worst enemy after firing him just the day before.

According to a mystic who held a seance in the bar at the Four Seasons, Steinbrenner was reunited with Martin, Mickey Mantle, Roger Maris, Thurman Munson, and several other great Yankee legends who had predeceased him.

Ted Williams, it was reported by Red Barber the journalist assigned in Heaven to cover the departed 'Yanks" , was not there to greet him but was said to be 'hanging around here somewhere,' according to Casey Stengel who will probably take on the role as General Manager Emeritus.

Mel Allen, sipping a Ballentine ale, said calmly, "Now How bout THAT!" as he
saw the former Yankee greats gathered at the gates where TSA employees scanned George before granting permission to enter the REALM.

There appeared to be some contention on George's part when he viewed the playing field which had been neglected for some time due to budgetary concerns on the part of the Holy Ghost.

"You expect me to field a winning team on this cow pasture," fumed George,
"get F******g real, get Bloomberg on the phone, we'll have a new stadium
or else I'm picking up the whole F*****g team and moving SOUTH!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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