Written by Morse

Friday, 11 June 2010

image for Yanks Livid After Learning A-Rod's Groin Injury Linked to Off Field Antics!
A-Rod Side Lined After Off Field Error: Misjudgment Causes Dropped Ball and Severe Pain!

The Yanks lost more than a game last night when Alex Rodriquez was forced to take himself out of the contest with a groin injury that the trainer said was caused when the slugger 'slid into home' in a late night visit to a strange stadium.

A-Rod, linked to Madonna, Kate Hudson, and Cameron Diaz, and that's just this week, was also a paying customer of former madam Kristin Davis who supplied disgraced Attorney General and Later NY Gov Eliot Spitzer with 'stress reduction therapy' during away games as well.

Said one of A-Rods former team mates who preferred to remain anonymous since he had also joined the slugger on nightly trysts, " That boy carries a heavy bat...he needs to lighten up...he believes his own hype and thinks he has to hit a home run every time up....even with the cashier at Dunkin Donuts!"

A spokesman said George Steinbrenner, Jr., now in charge of the team, and a lightweight compared to his hatchet faced old man, George Sr., has said to have reached out to Elin Woods' divorce attorney for advice.

According to the source Steinbrenner is considering an amendment to A-Rod's contract demanding that he try appetite suppression therapy mandated to Tiger, "The Low Cal No Nookie" diet. It's said to have been successful with serial adulters when they've been threatened with substantial weight loss in their wallets and stock portfolios.

"He just needs to get married again," said former baseball general manager and former TV commentator Steve Phillips, " there's nothing like marriage to cut down on your sex drive!!"

Phillips recently lost his network job, and his wife, after an affair with a quite homely 22 year old intern who was hired to bring him coffee, keep up with statistics, and rub up his balls for a better grip after games.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
87 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more