Japanese Team Members Attempt Hari-Kari after Loss to Paraguay

Funny story written by Charpa93

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

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I Have Shamed Myself. For This, I Must Die.

When the World Cup game between Japan and Paraguay ended in a tie, the game went into overtime. Still there was no score. The game finally ended in penalty kicks when Paraguay beat Japan 5-4. One Japanese team member, Yuichi Komano, missed his penalty kick.

Witnesses say after the game was called for Paraguay, Komano ran over to the benches, pulled out a ritualistic knife and ran around the field yelling "I have disgraced myself. For this I must die."

Several team members went over to Komano trying to talk him out of trying to commit harakiri (commonly mispronounced hari-kari), the ritualistic suicide by disembowelment by someone (usually a warrier) who has brought shame to himself and his country. Komano, instead, yelled at them. "How can you stand there and be shamed like this? We are not worthy of living," whereupon he tried to give the knife to his fellow teammates begging them to take their own lives.

Fans, not sure what the commotion was, did not stay to witness whether or not the harakiri was carried out. As team members passed the sword back and forth claiming "We have brought shame to ourselves and our country" the stadium slowly emptied.

Finally, two referees went over to the Japanese team and took the knife from them without incident. While walking away, the one referee asked, "What was that all about?" The other referee said, "Oh, I was warned something like this would happen. Evidently they do this every time they lose a game. It's harmless, really. When it comes to disemboweling themselves, none of them really has the guts to do it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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