Jasper Carrot 'Not a happy bunny'

Funny story written by Mary Hinge

Saturday, 28 March 2009

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Albert Farquaharson yesterday.

Humorous comedian Jasper Carrot has been reprimanded for calling a contestant a 'cheating bastard' on his primetime show 'Golden Testicles'.

It was reported to me yesterday that the ever so funny and devilishly handsome Jasper was furious with the elderly entrant as they had eaten greasy sausages before taking part in the programme. Then used their oily fingers to mark the 'Killer' balls with a cross so they were easy to spot when they were trying to 'Bin' them in the final round.

Jasper 36 was unavailable to comment last night but said via his housekeeper that he wouldn't entertain cheating old twats on his show.

Pensioner Albert Farquaharson from Skegness commented he was merely trying to brighten up the mundane show by trying to win and promised he would definitely of 'split' with fellow finalist Camilla Winsor of Hygrove.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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