Woods to follow in Pope's footsteps to find redemption

Written by Volsung

Thursday, 15 April 2010

Following a disappointing return to competitive golf at the Augusta Masters' tournament over the weekend, world number one Tiger Woods has said he is contemplating taking a page out of Pope Benedict XVI's playbook and scheduling a rejuvenating visit to Malta.

Following weeks of intense criticism over allegations of having had a role in covering up paedophilia incidents involving priests in the past, the Pontiff is expected to visit what is arguably the most Catholic country in the world over the coming days.

The Maltese seem to be in a forgiving mode and are expected to turn up in their masses to give the Pope a rapturous welcome, in spite of the shadows surrounding his past.

Golfer Woods, who also made a comeback to a lukewarm response over the weekend following months of tribulations over his extra-marital affairs, is also keen to find a forgiving public to help him restore some self-esteem.

"The Maltese people strike me as a warm and forgiving bunch to be around, and this may be just what I need to get back to my game. It's too bad they have only one tiny golf course, but I guess most of the land is taken by all these churches they've built."

Questioned on whether he'd be visiting the now infamous statue in the Luqa roundabout which resembles a phallus, and which has been at the centre of controversy after the mayor of the town demanded its removal in view of the Pope's visit, Woods replied:

"Absolutely - although I'm a little wary of people taking pictures of me standing next to it and putting them on the net. You know, captions such as 'Tiger's Wood' aren't quite what I'm looking for right now."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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