Diaby Comes Clean about Fantasy Football Scam

Funny story written by Seb 'ODriscoll

Wednesday, 30 September 2009


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Arsenal superstar Abou Diaby has made a sensational confession about his own goal against Manchester United, saying that he intentionally scored in a bid to boost his Fantasy Football team. The French International's looping header beat Manuel Almunia and proved to be the winning goal in a hard fought and tense affair.

"Ryan Giggs is my captain so I knew if the ball went in from that free kick, he would get points for the assist. I was angry that he had not started from the beginning as he would not be eligible for a 90 minute bonus. When I headed the ball past Manuel, I only had thoughts for Fantasy Football. I almost instantly regreted it", said the lanky Gunner

"It been a bad season for me thus far as I foolishly thought Everton and Bolton would come out of the blocks quickly. My team is stocked with players from those clubs, which has made me the laughing stock of the Arsenal dressing room. I have already had to use my wildcard, Arsene is not impressed".

Arsenal Assistant Coach Pat Rice refused to come down hard on Diaby claiming, "It's a pandemic among players in the modern game. The lads are just so competitive, the lengths they go to for victory in the most trivial matters seem crazy to a normal person."

"Just last week Robin was caught loosening the screws from Denilson's roller skates before the Annual Arsenal Roller Disco Dance Off. I mean he was willing to seriously injury his teammate and friend to win a giant neck-clock-thing. It doesn't even tell the bloody time", said the infamous Cadbury's Cream Egg aficionado.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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