Crapping Gains Olympic Status

Funny story written by simosimes

Friday, 14 August 2009

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Olympic Ring: Crapping will feature in London 2012

The number of Olympic sports was expanded further yesterday with the announcement by the I.O.C. that it would sanction the inaugural World Crapping Championships, to take place during the 2012 games.

Initial briefings suggest that the format will consist of six athletes per heat in cubicles, whom are collectively given one minute to produce the most faeces possible. The excrement will then be weighed, the winner being the competitor who produces the most stools. A new purpose built venue already nicknamed, 'The Crapperdome', is under construction and will be equipped with powerful air extraction equipment and drop down oxygen masks, using technology borrowed from from the aviation industry.

An I.O.C. spokesman denied the new event will damage the reputation of traditional Olympic athletic events. "These people are highly trained athletes who specialize in shitting in exactly the same way that sprinters specialize in running. To deny them the chance of Olympic glory is to discriminate against those who shit well."

The I.O.C. also went on to outline how it will ensure that Crapping is not marred by drugs scandals in the way that other sports, such as cycling, have been in the recent past. "Everyone on a bike is off their fucking heads on drugs. This will not happen in Crapping. A rigorous testing regime is to be set up and anyone found taking performance enhancing drugs such as laxatives or Madras curry will be forced to publicly eat, or rather drink their own Faeces."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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