Thomas Craig, world famous as the World Champion Fudge Packer, admitted today that his well known brown eyes used to be blue. "I've had so much packed in me that even the color has started to affect me."
"I'm thinking about asking Linda Ronstadt if she's willing to change her song around to fit me, because Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue is the opposite of my situation."
Mr. Craig, of San Fagcisco, also admitted that he weighs fifty pounds more after his fudge packing sessions. "They get me so stuffed up that I can't poop for weeks, and I get to feeling really bloated. I enjoy, however, that full of shit feeling. It helps me in my job.
(Note: Thomas Craig works in the Obama administration as the current head of the White House Office of Rhetoric and Empty Promises.)
