In another shock transfer move, Alex Ferguson has bought Paul Gascoigne for 20p.
The former England international hasn't even seen a football in years, let alone kick one, but Ferguson is convinced that Gazza still has some of that old magic still left in him.
"I see in Gazza what I saw in Michael Owen. Nobody else does, but I'm the gaffer and what I say goes", said Ferguson who is showing increasing signs of Alzheimer's and dementia. Either that or he's been very, very drunk lately.
Gazza will become the midfield maestro in an all-changed united line-up that includes other 'new' signings such as Kevin Keegan, John Barnes, and legendary heavyweight England early 20th Century 'keeper 'Fatty' Fowlkes in goal.
"I've pieced together a super-team just like Real Madrid's but for less than 5 quid", boasted Ferguson to astonished journalists.