Written by Elfinmyst

Saturday, 4 July 2009

image for Manchester Academy Bans Underarm Hair
Children Must Not Look Like Hedgehogs.

Parents were up in arms today when a child was sent home from the Manchester Academy for having underarm hair.

The hair was discovered during a routine swimming lesson, when the boy was spotted by a teacher during the backstroke.

"This is unacceptable," headteacher Don Shaver told the parents. "This school has a clear uniform policy which does not allow the wearing of hair on any part of the body except the head. Children must not look like hedgehogs."

14 year old Harry Raiser was sent home in tears after the lesson and his mother spoke exclusively to reporters late this afternoon. Mrs Raiser, a member of the Church of the Natural Humanity, was unimpressed with the school's action.

"It's a cultural issue," Mrs Raiser complained. "Harry is a member of a church where the shaving of hair of any sort is forbidden. We believe the human body should be as natural as possible."

But the school was unrepentant even when the rest of Harry's year ten classmates went out on strike in solidarity for their fellow student.

"Hairs R US' they chanted, as they burned razors on a bonfire in the courtyard.

Harry remains suspended, pending an EU court case to determine if the school has any legal right to discriminate against underarm hair.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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