Heartthrob sex symbol Cristiano Ronaldo has been in negotiations to return to Manchester united just weeks after his record-breaking transfer to Real Madrid.
The footballer said he wanted to come back to Manchester because the players there are far uglier there than him unlike at Madrid where he is constantly surrounded by gorgeous Adonis-like specimens of manhood.
"I miss being the centre of attention with the ladies like at Manchester. Over here I'm just another pretty boy with an orange tan but back in England I am treated like a Greek God amongst the deformed ginger freaks like Rooney and Paul Scholes", said Ronaldo.
"I miss waking up every morning and looking in the mirror and knowing that I am the prettiest boy in town. I miss coming face to face with old elephant ears Van der Sar and the gurning nightmare that is Michael Carrick, " he added
