Swastika crop circle closes Royal Ascot

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 12 June 2009

image for Swastika crop circle closes Royal Ascot
Frankie rides Lesson in Humility in the Herman Goering Golden Jubilee Stakes

Ascot, Berks - (Shergar Ass Mess): Groundsmen are working round the clock to replace over £100,000 of turf after a swastika crop circle appeared in Ascot Racecourse's Royal Enclosure.

The Third Reich effigy materialised overnight following a Trooping the Colour flypast practise by RAF Lancaster Bombers, sending shockwaves through the MoD.

Racecourse officials appear resigned to digging up and replacing the ominous grass etching - which last year included one of the Fuhrer himself - on the two furlong pole at Swinley Bottom.

Clerk of the Course Major Wetyerself-Nightly said to reporters:

"Fuckoff, scumbags.

"We don't want your sort round here, making up Nazi stories just to frighten the whorses."

Kate Middleton has a unsaddling enclosure lifetime ban after grassing up Shergar's kidnappers for a measley fifty quid wrap of smack.

Lesson in Humility runs in the aptly-named Herman Goering Golden Jubilee Stakes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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