Manchester United Eats The Premeire League Cup!

Written by John Dorian

Sunday, 17 May 2009

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Wayne Rooney's Lover, Sort Of??

When Manchester United won the British Premeire League, their supporters were over the moon. But days after they had won the competition, when they were at an after party, Rooney (intoxicated) ate off the left handle of the cup.

His teammates are extremely angry with Rooney's actions. They have also made a public apology courtesy of Sky Sports News. Rooney then had to be rushed to the nearest hospital due to repetitive choking.

The footballer (who shared similarities with Shrek) later died that evening after doctors found a pint of ogre sperm in his throat. Doctors believe that it was Shrek's ogre that murdered the famous footballer.

Rooney's funeral will take place at St. Pauls Cathedral in London, his teammates will also attend their mates funeral in total regards. His parents, however are shocked that their son was a closeted gay even though he was engaged to a woman.

Wayne Rooney will be deeply missed by many of his family and friends.

Manchester United are yet to find another teammate in late 2009

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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