Tory 'leader' David Cameron was today left red faced when his manuscript for a saucy novel was found in the cubicle of a mens convenience near Clapham common.
Doctor Harvey Gloryhole, colonic surgeon to the stars, happened upon the sordid literature while 'walking his dog' and, rather than hand it in, gave it to his brother-in-law who was about to resign from his post as platform announcer for Victoria Station, Westminster.
"What better way to chuck in your job than to stick it to the man!" said Doctor Gloryhole.
Upon receipt of the manuscript, an elated Giggsy McWetter, proceeded to read the novel over the tannoy, which was so graphically lurid and horn-enducing that platforms four through six soon resembled a Roman orgy.
Met police took over three hours to arrive at the scene and, upon arrival, immediately joined in. The party only ended when the mood was killed by GMTV presenter Fiona Phillips who couldn't wait to display her ping-pong skills.
In the House of Commons today, Mr. Cameron was called upon to appologise for the insight into his filthy imagination but denied all knowledge of the subject. Instead, he turned the tide on PM Gordon Brown by declaring that "This kind of incident could never happen under a Conservative Government. Once again, New Old New Labour has dipped it's wick in the couldron of sleaze".
Powerful words indeed.