Arsenal - Tottenham Match-Fixing Allegations

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 1 November 2008

image for Arsenal - Tottenham Match-Fixing Allegations
Seconds to go, it's still Arsenal 4 Spurs 2...

A storm of controversy has blown up this morning after allegations of match-fixing were made over Wednesday's Arsenal v. Tottenham Hotspur midweek match at the Emirates Stadium.

The match finished 4-4, but with Arsenal leading 4-2 with only seconds to go, the Gunners inexplicably let their two-goal lead slip, which set eyebrows twitching in the betting community.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger first raised the alarm when he said in his post-match interview:

"Zut alors! C'est criminale! C'est une travestie! Bon!"

After translating, he went on:

"There is no way my side would surrender a two-goal lead with 30 seconds to go, against a side as crap as Spurs. There has to be something behind this. I will be notifying the authorities of my suspicions."

Match-fixing is not new to the game, and is usually frowned-upon, though investigations discover very little, and punishment is almost unknown.

New Spurs manager, Harry Redknapp was delighted with his team's splendid, and unexpected, last-minute performance. Sporting a new Armani suit on his way back from the local Lexus garage, he quipped:

"Who woulda fort it? Crazy, just crazy, football is. I don't know nuffin about match-fixin, but I did 'ave the match down as a draw wiv me bookie",

as he glanced at his Rolex Oyster.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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