Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 25 September 2008

image for Emile Heskey Now The Most Racially-abused Player In England

Emile Heskey, of Wigan Athletic, is today the owner of a title he doesn't really want, for the England centre-forward is to be officially recognised as the Most Racially-abused Player in England.

Even his wife calls him Kunte Kinte.

Heskey, was at the centre of an investigation of racist chanting in Croatia during the World Cup qualifier on September 10th, which resulted in a £15,000 fine for the Croatian Football Federation.

The Croatian supporters taunted Heskey with racist monkey chants, and by throwing bananas onto the pitch. One wag even hung a tyre from the top of the players' tunnel for apes to swing from, the bastard.

It's not the first time that England players have had to endure such racist chants. Similar chanting could be heard at past matches in Turkey, Albania, Spain, Andorra, Italy, Moldova, Macedonia, Luxembourg, Lichtenstein, San Marino, Switzerland, Russia, Ukraine, Portugal, Sweden and at Wembley.

There was even a bit in Trinidad & Tobago.

Heskey claims he ignores the chanting, and tries to concentrate on his game:

"They are ignorant people, and I ignore ignorant ignorami."

A spokesman said:

"We repeat our position that we will not accept any racial abuse of any England players. There can be no place for racist behaviour in either football, or society. Any further questions should be directed to our new ambassador, Ron Atkinson."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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