Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 19 September 2008

image for Peter Beardsley Tells Newcastle Fans To Lay Off Mike Ashley
Beardsley last night

Newcastle United legend Peter Beardsley has told Geordie fans to lay off Mike Ashley, and to acknowledge and appreciate the good work the owner has done for the Tyneside club.

Beardsley, who played for Newcastle between 1983 and 1987, and again from 1993 to 1997, is now a football economist, and fully understands Mr Ashley's predicament. He believes Ashley has been harshly treated.

"He didn't come here to fail and he has put a lot of money into the club, so credit to him," said the chinless wonder.

He added:

"He's always tried to do the right thing, but it's hard, because Newcastle is Newcastle and unless you're used to that part of the world it does take a bit of getting used to 'cos they eat coal and uncooked wet fish on the same plate and wash it down with a barrel of beer and then belch and fart and that's just the lasses."

The former Newcastle midfielder played at the club with Kevin Keegan, and is best-remembered for his 'rapping role' with John Barnes on the New Order 1990 World Cup hit, World In Motion.

Peter Beardsley is 47, and featured as a Hobbit in The Lord Of The Rings.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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