Joey Barton To Star In 'Brand New' Series Of Grange Hill

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 15 September 2008

image for Joey Barton To Star In 'Brand New' Series Of Grange Hill
Barton (background) plotting a new assault

Joey Barton, the Newcastle United and England footballer, is to star in a brand new series of the cutting-edge TV drama for children and adults, Grange Hill.

Barton, recently freed from prison after serving a 6-month sentence for Assault & Battery and Impatience When Waiting For A Burger, is a good friend of Liverpool writer Phil Redmond, who devised the show. For those who haven't seen Grange Hill before, it's about a school.

The BBC had recently axed the show - its last broadcast was on September 15th - but Redmond is now bored, and has dreamt-up a new vehicle for his pal, the Unhinged One.

Barton plays 13-year-old Joey, a ruffian who is good with his fists, but who also likes to play a bit of football. All too frequently though, his demonic side gets the better of him, and he ends up outside the Head's office, which usually ends with a lengthy detention.

Also starring in the first episode of the new series, is former Manchester City player, Ousmane Dabo, who falls foul of Joey when they argue over an ice-cream, Dabo finishing up with his head caved-in.

Sir Kevin Keegan is to make a guest starring appearance as the know-it-all brother of PE teacher Mr 'Bullet' Baxter in Series 4 episode 116 next November.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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