England Awarded World Cup

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 10 November 2007

image for England Awarded World Cup
La Copa Mundial 2062

The Football Association has this morning announced the best possible news for English football supporters when, in a statement on its website, it said that, to commemorate the great World Cup triumph of 1966, England have been told they will be allowed to stage the 2066 tournament as well.

FIFA, world football's governing body, made the decision last week after reasoning that "the English rarely have anything to celebrate these days", and that most of the participants from the halcyon days of hooliganism in the 1980s, will be dead by then, and unable to spoil proceedings.

Support for the 2066 England World Cup bid came from a wide range of sources. Edson Arantes do Nascimento, a token Brazilian known locally as "Pele" said that England deserved another chance to stage the Greatest Show on Earth. Now playing for Viagra FC, Pele told the BBC's John Motson:

"Issa good. C'mon England! C'mon Bobby Charlton! C'mon 'cocker'! Wicked!"

Another veteran of the World Cup, England's very own non-penalty-saving anti-hero Peter 'Doughboy' Shilton also supported FIFA's decision. He said:

"I still can't save penalties."

FA spokesman Brian Barwick, although pleased with the news, sounded disappointed when he said:

"It's good news in a way, but frustrating to know that we have to wait until 2066, when the likes of Brazil, Tonga, Congo, Angola, Afghanistan, Fiji, Nepal, Somalia and Easter Island have got the nod ahead of us."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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