Yet again England is in the grip of another surge of Rugby fever. The sport that is largely ignored by 95% of the population, 95% of the time suddenly becomes hugely popular for two weeks every four years when England actually threatens to win something.
Talking to our sports correspondent, Rugby legend Will Carling said,
"Let's be honest, it could be tiddlywinks. We are under no illusions. The English are so starved of success that they would watch Pig Dancing*, if it meant they had a chance of winning."
When our reporter suggested to the ex Royal shagger that the reason people didn't tend to watch Rugby in England was because nobody really understood what was going on, Carling agreed.
"To the untrained eye it must seem like a good old fashioned punch up on a Saturday night with a ball popping out occasionally and somebody running off with it to the bus stop. However there is far more to it than that. It might look very violent but we have a strict code of conduct within the game. For example under no circumstances is a firearm permitted and in most games nowadays even knives are no longer used in the scrum."
However despite the fact that no one knows what the fuck is going on, people throughout the country will be glued to their television sets next Saturday. Come on Wilko, score that goal or whatever it is you do.
* Pig Dancing- The national sport of Morovia...Don't ask.