Eggert Magnussen, the West Ham chairman whose hobbies include paying crap players 70k a week, and spending afternoons dropping £50 notes down the drain (or into the pockets of Lucas Neill) caused a brief sensation yesterday when, during a routine check-up, doctors made a surprising discovery.
"Well..." one doctor reluctantly said, "to put it bluntly, erm... he's an egg ."
Yes, the hammers boss would look perfect on your toast, on his sick days, I do not like him at West Ham, I do not like him Sam I am, and he is shocked to find that several WHU players have tried to eat him.
"It is not actually against the law," one sheepish lawyer explained. "There is dangerous precedent; no-one was prosecuted in the 'Humpty Dumpty vs. All the King's Horses and All the King's Men' Crown Court case.
So Magnussen could find his players turning up at his next training with knives, forks, eggcups and, to use the Western cliché, egg sandwiches on their minds.
