West Indies Batter England For Unlikely Win

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 11 June 2007

image for West Indies Batter England For Unlikely Win
Chanderpaul leads the celebrations

In an astonishing final morning of cricket in the Third Test at Old Trafford, the West Indies, resuming on their overnight total of 301 for 5, demolished England's bowlers with a fantastic display of big hitting to level the series at 1-1.

The Windies made a brisk start with Shivnarine Chanderpaul despatching the first five balls of the opening over from Steve Harmison to the boundary to bring up his century. In the next over, Ramdin, on 26, was bowled by Monty Panesar wearing a garish pink turban.

Another wicket fell soon after when hip-hop star DJ Sammy swung at Harmison and was bowled, giving the England paceman his 200th Test match victim.

Chanderpaul then got busy with his bat, clubbling Panesar for eight consecutive sixes, with three more off Harmison, one of which went clean through the bathroom window of a house nearby.

Jackie Cobbledstreet, the owner, said:

"We've been on to the police about this, but nowt 'appens."

When Taylor was out 'stoned', Chanderpaul was joined at the crease by the giant CD Collymore, cousin of the "footballing doggist" Stan, and these two rattled off the remaining runs in time for a joint before lunch. The match-winning Chanderpaul finished unbeaten on 168,

The defeat is an embarrassing one for England, and one they surely did not expect when they took the field this morning. Coach Peter Moores said:

"It was a disaster, and what's more, that woman's bathroom window was one of those expensive uPVC ones!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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