In an unprecedented international trade, National Hockey League Long Islanders Chris "The Beheader" Simon has been traded to the British Islanders of the London Tower Hockey Association. Simon's twenty-five game suspension will be cancelled and he will be ready to play for BI in the upcoming championship series against Scotland's Iron Maidens.
Long Island's Isles' GM "Toothless" Cameron wished Simon the best: "No hard feelings. . . We told him to swing that stick with all his two-fisted might. . . who knew he needed to be told we meant at the puck?!"
The Brit Isles GM "Toothless" MacGuire celebrated this big name acquisition: "Heads are goin' roll like in the ole days of the London Tower-figuratively speaking, 'a course. . ."
Iron Maidens, the only UK ladies Hockey team's spokesperson "Toothless" Tittyless Bruiser expressed disdain at the last minute trading frenzy of the BI's: "We donna need ta goa biggin to som yankee headhunter! IM willa squeeeze the BI till she bleeds lika stuck pig and its Simon whose head will be rollin!"