70-Year-Old Man attempts to put his 'leg before wicket' and gets stumped!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 29 April 2021

image for 70-Year-Old Man attempts to put his 'leg before wicket' and gets stumped!
Old Cricketers never die, they just lose their Balls!

Within the ancient game of bat meets ball, colloquially called cricket in the UK, an LBW is commonly known as a 'Leg Before Wicket' meaning batters caught sticking their leg out too far, and hit by a raging hard red coloured ball steaming towards the wicket, are pronounced out.

Obviously, well-educated toffs and lovers of real sport from other parts of the world, excluding ex-Commonwealth citizens, where this rather tedious sport was brainwashed into their daily lives by ruling Brits, would not understand what the hell an LBW is!

One 70-year-old, ex-Brit, now a EU citizen, possessing a slowly dementing brain, during an attempt to have hot sex with his missus, who shall remain legless, screamed, "Darling, I have just done a LBW, and sorry, I have been bowled out!"

She turned over and continued snoring. He went back to the changing room, bat in hand, realising that his 'proud willow' had softened after many years of batting profusely, and decided in the future he would bowl his balls instead of sticking his leg out in front of a frustrated wicket screaming, HOWZAT!

Bowls is actually a sport designed for 'Old Codgers' where stiff legs are not required, just a Zimmer-frame between bowling. In addition, participating females lost their wickets many years ago anyway, so they have no need for any more LBW's!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot