The Andy Dalton-Led Dallas Cowboys Are Friggin' Fired Up

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 21 December 2020

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The University of Texas band attended the game as Jerry Jones' guests.

DALLAS – (Sports News) – The victorious Dallas Cowboys, for the second week in a row, have put a huge Big D-sized smile on owner Jerry Jones' face, as quarterback Andy Dalton got the 'boys all friggin fired up.

Zorro La Bamba, with Sports Bet Gazette, said that Jones, who is 78, was seen doing cartwheels and chugging on a fifth of Smirnoff's Vodka in his private luxury suite.

As the game ended with the Cowboys beating the San Francisco 49ers, 41-33, Jerry was heard yelling over and over, “How ‘bout dem Cowboys, they’s be my Cowboys, why hell yeah, y'all.”

Even the Cowboys cheerleaders were strutting around like chickens at a cock convention.

Cowboys coach Mike McCarthy gave a lot of the credit to quarterback Andy Dalton, who played like he was possessed by the ghost of 1960s Cowboys quarterback, Don Meredith.

The hard-throwing Dalton told La Bamba that he was playing after only having had 45 minutes sleep the night before, due to an uvula infection.

Dalton revealed tongue-in-cheek, that a personal intimate thing that his wife did to him, right before they left their house to go to the stadium, helped to reinvigorate and re-energize him.

After the game, Jerry Jones went into the Cowboys locker room and passed out Salmon P. Chases ($10,000) bills to the players and coaches as Christmas presents.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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