The Sign-Stealing Scandal Plagued Houston Astros Are Hoping That The Baseball Season Gets Cancelled

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 15 March 2020

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The Houston Astros organization is hoping that the sign-stealing scandal will fade away soon.

HOUSTON – Ever since spring training started, the Astros players have heard the word 'cheater' by the bat boys account at least 190,000 times.

The Houston Citizen Review reports that second baseman, Jose Altuve, was overheard saying, “Man, I yust hopes dat dey escrap de beisbol season por please.”

He further commented that he has never heard so many bad words, even when he would visit friends in prison back in his home country of Venezuela.

Astros star hurler Justin Verlander, who is married to the stunningly sexy Kate Upton, simply said, “Hey y’all I’m just a pitcher, and I have nothing whatsoever to do with the sign-stealing that my fellow teammates were totally doing without my knowledge.”

One long time Astros fan, Jericho “Bubba” Cobcorn, 61, said that he and his maternal grandmother are so disappointed with the Astros that they will now become Texas Rangers fans.

Cobcorn pointed out that he and Granny Gertie will now be traveling a distance of 558 miles round trip between their double-wide trailer in Sugar Land, Texas and the Rangers' home park Globe Life Field in Arlington.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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