NEW YORK CITY – The commissioner of Major League Baseball, Rob “The Man” Manfred, has just released his ruling on the Houston Astros Sign-Stealing Scandal.
After much consideration, Manfred said that he will be implementing a three-part punishment phase to last the entire 2020 baseball season.
The first part will restrict the entire Houston Astros players to only using little league-sized baseball bats.
The second part will prohibit the Astros team, including the manager and all coaches, from using the standard regulation baseball cleats. Instead, the team will be forced to wear pink flip-flops.
And thirdly, all players will be prohibited from drinking any water whatsoever from the beginning of the game until the end of it. The manager, the coaches, and the bat boy, however, will be exempt from this rule.
The commissioner pointed out that any first time water violators will be fined $35,000, second time offenders will be suspended for 21 games, and any third time offenders will be arrested on the spot, and could face up to 10 months in prison.
IN CLOSING – Sports Balls Illustrated is reporting that out of the 40 players on the Astros roster, 33 have requested to be traded.