Chinese takeover Chelsea

Written by Pointer

Thursday, 8 February 2007

After the American invasion of Liverpool, who knew another British Football power would fall so soon. In a fulfillment of the Domino Theory tanks from the People's Republic of China have seized Chelsea.

Coach Mourinho is suspected to be part of an inside job. Sources say that's what all the soap opera was about with the on again off again rangling Mourinho put on. They suspect it was all a cover for the Chinese Invasion.

If folks thought the Yanks could have a deleterious effect on British football-what of the Asian influence? "They say since the Japanese have entered American baseball they serve sushi in Yankee Stadium", fretted Moira O'Moanhoney, "Kiss your bangers goodbye blokes and get ready for General Tsao's Chicken".

Mourinho tried to calm the fuss: "Comrades of the UK! There is nothing to worry about.British football is safe in the hands of foreign powers. The tanks were used only because one can never get a cab at Heath-Row. Let us welcome our Asian brothers. Remember: Two legs good,four legs bad!".

Mourinho bowed in a dramatic Kow-Tow revealing the long braid of hair he had shoved down his kimono and thanked Chairman Mao for all of life's blessing before riding off in his rickshaw.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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