The soap opera drags on as Chelsea and Manager Mourinho find issue after issue to keep them apart.
"I'm not to be blamed," Chelsea ranted to myspoof gossip columnist Digger Dirt, "The man refuses to use salsa. Doesn't he know that salsa has outsold catsup for five years now! God,the guy and his bangers! Bangers n'eggs, bangers and 'taters, bangers 'n bangers...I wish he's eat some salsa and bang me abit more with that compact dinkie he calls 'Magnifico'! Me ,i call it magnificito".
Jose had no shortage(no pun) of his own complaints: "That woman is a horrific amalgamation of her mother's aggressivity and all of her daddy's seven deadly sins. Sleep, sex, food, gimme, gimme, me, me, you bastard, now, now, now, now, now! I guess I fell in love with the photos of the sad little girl who had inherited her mum's bloated cheeks and was stuck with alley cat for a Daddy. Up close and personal, now I feel bad for the parents-no wonder the mum is so pushy and the pop needs to be out cruisin..."
Football management has hired a relationship counselor to help with the rift but sources close to psychologist to the stars,BF Skinnem, report that JoChels is a lost cause: "Gimme Jlow and Michael jackson!", is the reputed exclamation slurred by Skinnem at the Pub Estrella in Stuffington, Lookdown.
