Shock and awe were the only words to describe the reaction to Manager Mourinho's announcement! Mourinho will be staying at Chelsea Clinton's flat. How the swarthy dude managed to manage his way into that love pad is more than any of us in the press or in sport can say.
Striker Didier Drogba was as nonplussed as any one: "I know these latin types have got a certain "romantic quality" but I been with him, I mean, in the shower and he ain't nothin special, let's say!".
Dozens of Jose's former lovers agreed. In fact, his rating on www.'ows'hebuilt.cum had Mourinho at only two and one half stars. In a rare public interview, Chelsea Clinton spoke out: "Look, I have an overly aggressive mum and my pop...well ,let's just say the wanker can't keep 'is John Thomas in 'is trousers. But ,I'm different..my own gull ,so to speak and Jose and me, well, we got somethin' special and I don't care if 'e's a bit, you know, compact. You know what they say about good packages or is it small things? Well you know what I mean..."
Jose's comment, remniscent of his brash predecessor at Chelsea's, Brian "old Big 'Ead" Clough, was: "I think it would be difficult for any man...to come after me. I wouldn't recommend it!".
All Chelsea could say was: "I second that emotion!".
