Harry Maguire To Have Beans On Toast For Tea On Wednesday Night

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 10 September 2019

image for Harry Maguire To Have Beans On Toast For Tea On Wednesday Night

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender that people just can't stop talking about, is scheduled to have beans on toast for his tea on Wednesday evening, if the word of his girlfriend, Fern Hawkins, is anything to go by.

Maguire, 26, became the costliest defender in history when United shelled out £80million to Leicester City to secure his services, but he hasn't forgotten his roots, and regularly tucks into two slices of wholemeal toast smothered in a veritable blanket of baked beans.

Fern told us:

"He'll be back from training about seven, but if he thinks I'm going to start cooking at that time, he's got another think coming! I'll whack a couple of bits of bread in the toaster, and some beans in the microwave, and £80million defender or not, he'll have to like it or lump it!"

Fern later clarified that she lets absolutely nothing get in the way of her watching 'Coronation Street'.

"And if that's not enough for the big, daft lumbering idiot, he'll have to make himself a cup of tea and a Kit Kat," she said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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