Basketball: Women's Team Disqualified, Strips in Protest

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Saturday, 10 August 2019

Bern, Switzerland. AP to The Spoof. The International Developing Nations World Games opened here today amid a variety of protests from various countries, most notably from the women's basketball team representing Western Rumelia.

The Rumelians showed up for their first round game with Bravaria wearing their traditional blue uniforms. The Bravarians were in blue as well. While the game was to be played here in Bern, the Rumelians were considered the home team and were required to wear white, a rule that apparently hadn't reached Rumelia. Officials gave them 15 minutes to find suitable uniforms.

When frantic requests to other teams for a loan of white uniforms failed to produce enough suits to field a team, team coach Antoinetta Shrdlu ordered the five players on the first team to strip to their white underwear. Unfortunately, star center Breva Pavlova was wearing blue, and the coach ordered the center on the second team to strip and start.

As the Rumelians took to the court in scanty attire to the delight of the mostly male audience, the small assemblage immediately grew as spectators texted, twitted and emailed nearby friends.

Alas, the officials ruled that the Rumelians were out of uniform, informing the Rumanian coach that the team was again disqualified, this time because none of the players had numbers on their "uniforms." The coach quickly found a black marker, and had the team equipment manager write each player's number on her bare back.

With the centers ready for the opening jump ball, the presiding official for the games, sitting in the now overflowing press box, ruled that the marked numbers were illegal and permanently disqualified the Rumelians, who preceded to strip the rest of the way in protest, to the enormous delight of the cheering crowd.

All Western Rumelian teams have been banned from further competition.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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