Kentucky Derby Winner Barbaro 'Will Taste Great in Alpo'

Funny story written by kgramone

Monday, 29 January 2007

image for Kentucky Derby Winner Barbaro 'Will Taste Great in Alpo'
Race horses like Barbaro can be a wonderful source of nutrition for your dog.

2006 Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was euthanized this week due to ongoing complications stemming from the breakdown he suffered during the Preakness Stakes last May. But a marketing representative from Purina noted that Barbaro "will sure taste great in Alpo."

Said Purina assistant marketing officer Ashleigh duBlanc: "What's lost in this tragic story is that Barbaro will live on in a way by making so many beloved family dogs happier and healthier, and better able to live an active lifestyle with their owners."

Barbaro himself received an outpouring of love and support from fans all over the world after his life-threatening injury and fought valiantly to survive. As recently as December, the thoroughbred appeared on the road to recovery.

He was euthanized after suffering from laminitis in the left rear hoof and a recent abscess in the right rear hoof. An operation in recent days failed to provide the support the hobbled horse needed to live a pain-free life.

"But Purina's meaty Alpo products are designed to help America's pets live long, healthy lives," duBlanc said. "Barbaro's flesh provides plenty of protein for superior muscle tone and overall health, and Barbaro's ground-up bone meal will provide your pet with calcium and phosphorus for teeth and bone development.

"This may be thought of as a loss for the horse racing industry, but it's a Triple Crown victory for dogs everywhere."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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