Conor McGregor Wants To Fight A Saber-Toothed Tiger

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 12 March 2019

image for Conor McGregor Wants To Fight A Saber-Toothed Tiger
Not a saber-toothed tiger

Conor McGregor, the former UFC featherweight and lightweight champion, who was arrested in Miami yesterday after damaging, then stealing, a fan's phone when the fan tried to photograph McGregor, has said he wants to fight a saber-toothed tiger.

McGregor, 30, was arrested after leaving the Fountainbleu Nightclub at 5:20am - a long time after his bedtime. His mum will have been furious.

Police say that McGregor slapped the fan's phone, knocked it out of his hand, stood on it, stamped on it, did a 360° turn on it, laughed at it, then picked it up and bit it viciously.

Struggling, protesting and fighting with police, the Irishman explained:

"Oim Conor! Conor McGregor, that's me name! Bring me anyone y'loike! Oil killem! Even a saber-toothed toiger! One o'them with the big teeth sticking out of his mush! Oil killim!"

After having a cup of cocoa, courtesy of the police, McGregor had calmed down. He still wanted the bout against the tiger, though.

Even though they became extinct about 7.2m years ago.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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