Sunshine Daycare Under Investigation After Employees Allegedly Win At Candy Land

Funny story written by Catchthisdrift

Thursday, 7 August 2014

image for Sunshine Daycare Under Investigation After Employees Allegedly Win At Candy Land
King Kandy's crown.

Local daycare provider Sunshine Daycare has had its license suspended and is under investigation by state regulators after allegations that its employees regularly beat toddlers at the game Candy Land. Several parents whose children attend Sunshine filed complaints after their children reported the beatings.

Candy Land is intended for children ages 2-4. Game-play consists of an individual moving their playing piece along a simple pathway based on a card they draw. A player needs minimal counting skills and no concepts of either tactics or strategy. The game is a race to reach the fictional character King Kandy, who resides in Candy Castle. A player draws a card from the playing deck and moves their game piece accordingly.

It is traditional that adults allow the child to win the game in order to build self-esteem and avoid a raging meltdown and tantrum. The child's victory can be assured by the adult moving fewer spaces than their card states, or allowing the child multiple turns in a row.

However, employees at Sunshine routinely chose to not exercise the tactics that assured the child victory, and instead played the game according to the official rules. While the children still won some games based purely by chance, the employees beat the children, sometimes brutally, on average as many times as the child beat the adult. During some games when multiple children were playing, the Sunshine employee beat all of the children.

A spokesperson for Sunshine Daycare did not deny the allegations, and in fact was heard by a parent to refer to the children as "whiny brat sore losers."

State investigators have, off the record, implied that their probe will include not only Candy Land, but also Chutes and Ladders and making the best horse from modeling clay.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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