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Funny satire stories about child abuse

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Funny story: How to Tell You're Watching Bad Porn

How to Tell You're Watching Bad Porn

Jesus once said, "The porn you will always have with you." He was right. In fact, porn is multiplying faster than the loaves and fishes. Last year more than 5.5 billion hours of porn were consumed on Pornhub, the world’s largest porn gallery (Pornhub...

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Funny story: Epstein already working on groundbreaking provisions for his next jail time

Epstein already working on groundbreaking provisions for his next jail time

Confined at this time without bail, Mr. Epstein is reported already feverishly at work with his lawyers. At issue is the question of what conditions will attend his imprisonment--if he is once again sentenced to jail time. In his previous confi...

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Funny story: Pope Francis Declares Death Penalty Inadmissible in All Cases, Except for Jesus Christ

Pope Francis Declares Death Penalty Inadmissible in All Cases, Except for Jesus Christ

In a Vatican press conference today, it was announced that Pope Francis has changed the teachings of the Catholic faith to oppose the death penalty in all circumstances, except for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The new position was met with incred...

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Funny story: Man Tells His Son There Is No Santa Claus

Man Tells His Son There Is No Santa Claus

A man has been accused of what amounts to cruelty to children, after he informed his young son that there was no such person as Santa Claus. Dave Benson, 31, from Cleveland, Ohio - which, being both 220 miles in length, and 220 miles wide, should...

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Funny story: Pheonix University Now Offering Online Kindergarten

Pheonix University Now Offering Online Kindergarten

Pheonix, AZ - The world's biggest web-based University is expanding to meet new market demands, now offering online classes for all ages. "Our studies found there is a very real demand to leave your toddler in front of a computer screen for at le...

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Funny story: Bonita Jackson spouts kiddie tough love garbage

Bonita Jackson spouts kiddie tough love garbage

Spring, Texas - "When ya whoop someone you love, it's about love," the mother of benched Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson said today as pics of her grandson's injuries went viral on the web. "That's how to prepare them for the real w...

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Funny story: NFL's Goodell Speaks On New Peterson Revelation

NFL's Goodell Speaks On New Peterson Revelation

Minnesota Vikings Adrian Peterson, already facing felony charges in Texas for child abuse, was accused in a separate incident involving another son who was 4 years old. In that case Peterson inflicted a head wound on his son, who was in a car seat,...

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Funny story: Sunshine Daycare Under Investigation After Employees Allegedly Win At Candy Land

Sunshine Daycare Under Investigation After Employees Allegedly Win At Candy Land

Local daycare provider Sunshine Daycare has had its license suspended and is under investigation by state regulators after allegations that its employees regularly beat toddlers at the game Candy Land. Several parents whose children attend Sunshine f...

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Funny story: Asian Parents Locked Up For Child Abuse

Asian Parents Locked Up For Child Abuse

Two Chinese parents living in London have been sentenced to 10 years in prison after a series of accusations from their only child on 5 accounts of child abuse. Zang and Liu Ping were accused of mental imprisonment, psychological terrorism and em...

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Funny story: British Lords Promise Enquiry Into Child Porn

British Lords Promise Enquiry Into Child Porn

The British House of Lords have promised a full and complete investigation into the availability of child pornography within the United Kingdom. Lord Cock of Dumbshire announced "It is simply appalling. It is totally unacceptable. I find is simpl...

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Funny story: BBC Presenter from 60s and 70s Smeared

BBC Presenter from 60s and 70s Smeared

A presenter from the BBC during the 60s and 70s has been smeared by the press for being the only one who didn't inappropriately touch people up during the time. Wally Hampstead worked at the BBC, on radio, and television - as well as with children -...

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Funny story: Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving and Christmas specials will air on TLC

Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving and Christmas specials will air on TLC

ATLANTA (ABSNN) - Alana Thompson (Honey Boo Boo) and her mother June Shannon (Fat Demonic Hell Pig) are the stars of TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras. They visited a television station in Atlanta, the home of The Learning Channel, to discuss their upcoming...

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Funny story: Did Kate Gosselin use a wooden spoon?

Did Kate Gosselin use a wooden spoon?

WYOMISSING PA (ABSNN) - Did Kate (plus 8) Gosselin hit her children with wooden spoons? Did she twirl them around by the hair? Did she bitch-slap them in their little beds? "Yes, and more than that," says author Robert Hoffman in his just releas...

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Funny story: Pope Drops Blanket Ban On Condom Use

Pope Drops Blanket Ban On Condom Use

In an historic move, the Pope has brought about a seismic shift in Catholic doctrine, with the ending of the Vatican's total opposition to the use of condoms. In a statement, released between masses at St Peter's Basillica, the Pope, one time Hitl...

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Funny story: Peter Andre Admits: Part One.....

Peter Andre Admits: Part One.....

Peter Andre has got himself into trouble with child rights groups all over the world and not in a Gary Glitter way. Peter, who was arrested yesterday morning at Mozambique International Airport, had admitted to attending organized child fights all ov...

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Funny story: Boston-area parents sue Red Sox for child cruelty

Boston-area parents sue Red Sox for child cruelty

BOSTON, Mass.--World Championships of '04 and '07 be damned: scores of parents have filed a joint lawsuit against the Boston Red Sox for scarring yet another generation of fans. The wheels fell off in the month of September, leading to a 7-19 reco...

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Funny story: BBC To Screen Baby's First Taste of Grapefruit

BBC To Screen Baby's First Taste of Grapefruit

A baby's first taste of grapefruit is to be screened by the BBC later on this year as part of a series about the life cycle of the human body. Scientists have advised that it is "important not to shy away from talking about unpleasant early human...

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