Vladimir Putin has not only banned gay behaviour at Sochi, home of the very pathetic Winter Olympics hosted and financed by a bunch of moronic, super-rich, Russian oligarchs who felt that Putin needed a global boost in the global rating as the world's most hated dictator; he has also banned peeing!
Athletes caught peeing in the snow or anywhere else will be removed from the Olympic Village, flogged in public and sent for a brain-washing session in Siberia where their pee freezes as soon as it exits the human body, minus 50 degrees centigrade, to teach them a lesson.
Peeing will only be allowed in high-security toilets guarded by ex-female Russian shotputters, now officially declared as men, and if one drop lands on the outside of the specially designed stainless steel bogs, the guards will then force the athletes to lick it, clean it, and then shove the athletes heads down the bog while they are flushed three times!
The Olympic Commitee are in solidarity with these draconian measures because they appreciate the millions "baksheed" to them by the friendly Russian hosts and have promised North Korea the next Winter Olympics if they can come up with the neccessary goodies and barbed wire!
Jamaican athletes, in protest, have already left Sochi and promised never to to-bog-an again! Whilst being ejected they turned the surrounding snow into a deeper shade of yellow and pissed off!
