The NFL Plans To Ban Biting

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

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The NFL is estimating that one in every 15 players has bitten another player at least once.

NEW YORK CITY - The National Football League has just issued a statement that it will soon be implementing a ban on biting.

Word from Commissioner Roger Goodell's office is that since the start of the 2013 NFL football season there have been at least half a dozen incidents of one player biting another one.

The commissioner explained that the biting incidents had been kept secret by the NFL referees who felt that bringing this matter to light could have an adverse effect on the fans.

In the latest incident a player for the New England Patriots reportedly bit a player for the New Orleans Saints and the Saints player had to leave the game due to some bleeding.

The referees did not call a penalty but did issue a warning to the offending player during the next television commercial.

SIDENOTE: Commissioner Goodell said that he feels that it is imperative that this matter be addressed as soon as possible before it really gets out of hand and players start biting referees.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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