Super Bowl Versus History of Zombies

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Monday, 4 February 2013

In this age of too many TV channels, one can easily lose control of the remote and end up on an unexpected network.

Opposite the Super Bowl, as usual, was Downton Abbey. Most of us can tell the difference between the deathly Dowager Countess and Colin Kaepernick. This night might prove different.

Our troubles increased when we ended up on H2 where the History of Zombies played out.

For all the world, we thought we were watching the demise of the 49ers who seemed to be stumbling along the gridiron like the Walking Dead zombies. We never expected San Francisco to suffer the Night of the Living Dead.

There it was: Ray Lewis was dispatching zombies with aplomb and a dance of death, and Joe Flacco was throwing passes down the sidelines with an arm that zombies would love to munch upon.

In the Dark Ages, ravens used to munch upon the corpses lying in the streets-and not much had changed at the Super Bowl. The Ravens were feasting on the dead 49ers who looked like they were being cannibalized at Donner Pass.

We really became confused when Beyonce started marching around with an army of ravenous dancers. This seemed to be a sequel to Dawn of the Dead.

Nothing could prepare us for the power failure that made New Orleans look like Ash Wednesday had come early. We almost thought there seemed to be more wailing and gnashing of teeth than at the post-funeral luncheon for Lady Sybil at Downton Abbey.

This scenario became even more frightening when the dead 49ers suddenly rose from the grave and seemed intent on wiping out the Ravens. We had not seen such an attack of zombies since Vincent Price was The Last Man on Earth.

If you've seen the new flick Warm Bodies, you know something about zombie redemption. In the end, San Francisco's bullies were finally just dead meat against the high flying Ravens.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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