Luis Suarez Not To Blame For Syrian Uprising - Liverpool Boss

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 28 October 2012


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How People In General See Luis Suarez

Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers was quick to jump to the defence of the Uruguayan striker at a press conference this lunchtime, ahead of the Merseyside derby, as a reporter accused Suarez of initiating the bloody Syrian uprising.

"That's a preposterous accusation to make!" Rodgers snapped. "Luis hasn't even been to Syria. To the best of my knowledge."

A clearly agitated Rodgers then refused to answer a question enquiring if Suarez has been questioned by the police yet in relation to the Jimmy Savile sex scandal.

This was by no means the only occasion when the Reds boss has had to fend off probing questions. In May of this year, a tabloid reporter asked if it was true that Suarez was really Jack The Ripper, and then in June Suarez was accused of being an internet troll by a Canadian journalist.

"These accusations are completely untrue," Rodgers insisted. "Not only that, they're patently bloody ridiculous, and they're damaging morale within the club. The lad's been labelled as a racist, a diver, a rat faced rodent, a cannibal, a cheat, and a homophobic potential serial killer who once visited crazed sixties hippie-psychopath Charles Manson in prison. I can't understand why people say these things. It seems people just don't like him. Anyway, I've got a tenner on him scoring a brace today at Goodison, with a side bet that he'll have one disallowed for offside in added time."

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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