Stuart Pearce livid at being branded a 'Baboon'

Funny story written by Sambuca'

Friday, 19 October 2012

image for Stuart Pearce livid at being branded a 'Baboon'
Pearce showing emotion in post-match interiew

Sky Sources (Mustard & Ketchup) believe that football officials have confirmed that they will be launching an inquiry into Stuart Pearce's red card and touch-line ban.

Pearce reacted to alleged racist abuse from home fans by kicking a football into the crowd, which earned him a red card and, if not rescinded, would mean he is banned from the touch-line for opening game of next summer's Championship in Israel, and would have to watch the game from the Zoo.

I spoke to officials who had this to say:

"We rarely see instances like that in football and we should be thankful for that. It was serious, it was unusual and that is why this matter must be dealt seriously. Although Stuart Pearce acts like a monkey at times, he does, most definitely not resemble a Baboon."

"We have to wait and see what the outcome is and we are only in the process of submitting our evidence and making that clear, however we do feel that the evidence obtained in our favour is very very strong. The fact that the Serbians specifically labelled Pearce a type of monkey (Baboon) only shows the depth of the abuse."

Stuart Pearce has since been reported missing, with reports suggesting that he's "gone Ape"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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