Twonk Tweets 'Twats' to Tits then Told off

Written by Talking Tic-Tacs

Monday, 8 October 2012

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Ashley Cole

Ashley Cole has been charged with bringing the game into disrepute/improper Conduct over his abusive tweets towards the FA. Cole is said to be devastated at his life being turned upside down and having his good reputation besmirched.

The Chelsea left back will also be fined a hefty £drop-in-the-ocean.00.

English footballs governing body found Cole's evidence supporting John Terry's defence against alleged racist remarks to be unreliable in what is a swift, decisive and just decision. More than a year after the incident which is now ever more blurred and sees Terry's punishment for the same offence less than Luis Suarez's.

Meanwhile Cole and Chelsea captain John Terry are believed to have accepted an offer from American wrestling franchise WWE, formerly WWF, to become professional WRESTLERS after their profesional football careers. And become the most hated tag-team of all time.

WWE owner Vince McMahon is thought to admire their ability to stir up public feeling as "any attention or publicity is good in wrestling. Its all hype and they effortlessly court it over the pond. True, American people may not know who they are at first but i'm confident they are such pricks that they can overcome that and be equally loathed over here. They're pantomime villains - without the pantomime."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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