Manchester United Defeat By Blackburn Rovers - Authorities Promise Action

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Sunday, 1 January 2012

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Teams visiting Old Trafford may have to field the kids.

Football authorities in England are promising to take decisive action to prevent further incidents like Manchester United's home defeat by Blackburn Rovers yesterday.

The move follows public reaction to the match on United manager Sir Alex Ferguson's 70th birthday.

United only needed to avoid defeat by the Premier League's troubled basement club to grab top spot over local rivals, City. But it all went wrong as they went down to an unlikely 3-2 defeat.

"We received loads of complaints after the BBC showed the game on Match of the Day twice - on Saturday night and again on Sunday morning," said a spokesman for football.

"And I have to say, you can understand it. Did you see the looks on the faces of some of those people at Old Trafford - except the Blackburn Rovers fans, of course? It was heartbreaking!

"No. We have to do something about that. Teams can't be allowed to go to Old Trafford and beat the media's favourite club."

Authorities are considering new laws such as giving United a two goal start or automatically ruling an oppostition player offside should he have the temerity to score.

"We have seen the corrosion of too many standards in this country," the spokesman added. "No-one respects policemen any more, the royal family are a fair target in the press - and now an away team wins at Old Trafford. No... we are drawing a line in the sand."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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