Man Impersonating Police Officer Pulls Over -- Cop
"Now I'm impersonating a person getting arrested and sent to this cell", he told reporter.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Age of Artificial Brain.
U.S President could one day be a robot! So be good to your machines.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Record Number of Americans on Disability to End 2013.
"I got the Can't Help Its and Can't Help It", jokes guy in line.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Major Snowstorm Targets 70 Million in Northeast.
Some haven't gotten electricity back from last storm!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
New Year's Freeze: Chicago expects 10 inches of snow for midnight.
Chicago new York Partiers better watch their speed as they fo out into 2014 as almost a foot of snow predicted.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #933
According to Snoops: Most modern day Chiefs of Native American tribes smoke E-Peace pipes!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #066
According to Snoops: Cambodian leader Pol Pot never kicked a dog in his entire life.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #185
According to Snoops: The Cowardly Lion on The Wizard of Oz almost ruined the movie with 68 retakes with him or others stepping on his tail and revealing Bert Lahr in his spotted underwear.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #803
According to Snoops: Before Mohammed Ali became the World Heavyweight Champion, the previous champ was one Cassius Clay!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
FDR On Fireside Chat Fire!
People still recall F,D,R,'s "Fireside Chats" & "Day of Infamy Speech" after Pearl Harbor, the real "Day of Infamy" according to wife's diary, was when he suddenly flamed up during one chat in 1938.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
I Told You! Aim With The Wind!
In today's news: Leon Whitaker of Townsend, Texas blew his nuggets out last night while whizzing in the dark and hitting an electric fence.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Iran's president indirectly criticizes Taliban regime
"I apologize but I still think it was a stupid act!" "I apologize again."
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Eight Thousand more bodies discovered in Mexico town
"This time the drug lords have gone too far. They have crossed the line", says President
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
How NSA Remotely Bugs iPhones, hacks WiFi networks from miles away
"Why don't you quit looking in the mirror, Putin. You still aren't pretty!"
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Syria misses deadline to remove chemical weapons.
"We're not alone", says spokesman. "Where have the Iranians stopped producing nukes, Obamacare working right?"
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Giant yellow duck explodes in Taiwan -- again.
Consumer Digest Gives Warning: Do not purchase a 2013 big yellow duck from Taiwan! Worse than an early '70's Ford Pinto!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Major Snowstorm Targets 70 Million in Northeast.
"Did somebody put a curse on us?", asks weather man. "I mean, we're only a week or two into winter!"
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
This Is Super!
Superman, Man of Steel, put down by Super-Dooperman, Man of Stainless Steel!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
MSNBC host apologies after mocking Romneys' black grandchild.
"Sometimes your true feelings just slip out......see, like right then...I did it as an illustration".......BANG!!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
China Still One-Upping Other Countries!
China claimed this morning that their moon buggy can go 50 MPH and demonstrated the fact by gunning it and leaving rubber on rocky surface!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #091
According to Snoops: In a big rush at IHOP especially during holidays, you'll always hear them in the back cooking and yelling, "Hey Batter Batter! Hey Batter Batter! Batter Up! Hey Batter Batter!"
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #606
According to Snoops: Up until the day he died, Adolf Hitler believed that "somebody was out to get him!"
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #709
According to Snoops: It is said that Methuselah often grew nostalgic about his childhood, 900 years before.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Crystal Ball
I see with my little eye something beginning with R.
Relegation for West Ham or is it Revival? What will the future Raveal?
written by j.w., 31 December 2013
10 week University Course Just for ME
I shall be studying how to manage my father's estates when he is executed. I did so much to earn this privilege.
written by j.w., 31 December 2013
Snakes on a Plane 3 movie is about Snakes on a Plane
The Movie, "Snakes on a Plane 3" is once again about Snakes on a Plane. The studio said this morning, "We have stuck to the "Snakes on a Plane" format this time and missed out Snakes on a Plane 2."
written by Auntie Jean, 31 December 2013
Historians On Edgar Allen Poe
Many historians believe that Edgar Allen Poe's writings came from his attempting to bury his dead cat, Raven, when he was ten, and accidentally dug up his grandmother, Lenore.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
The Bunny Hop Began Accidentally
It was accidentally started after a pub regular staggered into a lady in front of him hanging unto her waist to keep from falling and her irate husband grabbed him from behind & his friends joined in.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #700
According to Snoops: On early live episode of "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, it took him five minutes to put on his sweater after first placing his head through the arm hole.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
First flight from Key West to Cuba takes off
First ten minute flight between the two islands in fifty years!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Obama breaks from vacation to sign budget, Pentagon
Then it's back for another two months in Hawaii and golf courses!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Giant yellow duck explodes in Taiwan...again
"You tell vandals to leave our duck alone" officer", says local. Phil Robertson said to be headed to Taiwan!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Congress letting 55 tax breaks expire at year end #2
IRA Agent: You can't keep listing your dead father-in-law as a dependant, Mrs Hines". "Mister, you go upstairs and tell that thing on the bed that."
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Congress letting 55 tax breaks expire at year end
No more listing cats, dogs and names off tombstones as dependents!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Vandals spray graffiti against Kerry in West Bank
Most of them have huge heads and little bodies!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
POLICE: Man Ran Through Bingo Hall with Pants Down Yelling 'Bingo!'
"There was a farmer who had a dong, And Bingo was his name-o."
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Boston bans smoking in parks.#3
Not allowed in your homes the next move...except marijuana.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Boston bans smoking in parks.#2
Arrested say they do not smoke. "That was our breath in the cold air", you stupid beeps!"
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Boston bans smoking in parks.
Sex, drugs run rampant but smokers handcuffed and thrown in dungeon.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
UPDATE: 'Global warming' scientists forced to admit defeat -- because of too much ice.
"Al Gore sure has a lot of explaining to do", say ship stuck in ice crew.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Northeast Blizzard late week!
Police trying to help Global Warming advocates from doing themselves in!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
High Prices for Getting High Expected as Colorado Opens Legal Pot Shops.
Many already growing their own and faking receipts from stores.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
Big Ass Spider movie is about a big ass spider
New movie "Big Ass Spider" is a cunning ploy to fool audiences that the movie is about a big ass spider, Big Ass Studios announced this morning. "In reality the movie is about a medium ass spider."
written by Auntie Jean, 31 December 2013
Binge drinking "caused by Daily Mail?"
Do you find yourself drinking very heavily on an evening after reading the Daily Mail? It seems repetitive references to Labour Governments causing binge drinking allegedly cause binge drinking!
written by Auntie Jean, 31 December 2013
"Humble and to the point, that's Herbie Hancock"
- Said Bill O'Reilly, speaking at the Kennedy Center Awards on Sunday. What a paradox, Mr. O'Reilly, to you, you slippery, silver-tongued, arrogant devil.
written by Samuel Vargo, 31 December 2013
Everything FOX News says is right out of The Holy Bible -
Says a rabid Tea Partier, counting down the minutes to 2014, adding, And the world's going to end at 3:13 a.m. on January 15th. Jesus told me last night as he was perched on top of my Christmas tree.
written by Samuel Vargo, 31 December 2013
Louisiana's Moses Says to Marry 15-Year-Old Girls -
Yeah, long-bearded one, ten minutes with her 15-year-old body will get a good 10 years sliced off a grown man's life. Do the fuzzy math yourself, you backwoods bayou Einstein.
written by Samuel Vargo, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #373
According to Snoops: The only real authentic Mexican food must contain at least a dozen fire ants.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #226
According to Snoops: The most popular modern wedding tradition? Tongue kissing the bride and making a dash for the car!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #510
According to Snoops: Before modern nails, mystics often laid on a bed of porcupines!
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
True Facts From Snoops #555
According to Snoops: Jerry Mathers who used to play "The Beaver", reduced to picking up aluminum cans, going through dumpsters looking for copper wiring.
written by Bureau, 31 December 2013
