"Funny People" Gets Oscar Praise
Adam Sandler's new movie Funny People might be nominated for an Academy Award according to one reviewer.
written by unknown
Bedpan Heaven
Medical community to include treatment for explosive diarrhea but all sufferers to be kept on the same wards.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
ED Caused By Abuse
Erectile Dysfunction caused by being beaten half to death as a teenager, say experts.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Hit & Roll Incident
Police hunt elderly mobility scooter driver after woman, 90, seriously injured in pavement hit-and-run. Police say they think they know where he is, as traffic backed up at the Chunnel.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Facing Jail Term
Jail for 'suicide' driver who hurtled into shopping centre at 100mph, seriously injuring another motorist, just as soon as police on the scene can find his face.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Revenge! Revenge!
Dentist who forced nurse out of job after his wife discovered they had nine-year affair, found wandering the streets, laughing his head off and not a tooth in his head.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Shimmied Off Benefits
Benefits cheat who claimed she could not walk is caught out... after winning "Shimmy Like A Snake" dance tournament.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Over-Population May Be Solved
Scientists in West Virginia say they have found a large family up in the mountains so inter-married and ugly that it could mean the world's cure for over-population.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Obama's TV Ratings Lowest Ever
President Obama's latest weekly address to the American public drew it's smallest crowd ever. Several in congress say he's already jumped the shark.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
New Health Care Page 2089
New page added to free health care plan in US, which adds on free breast implants for wives and girlfriends, has increased men's support by 90%!
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
So-Called Stink Blowers Moving
The company at the centre of a sit-in protest on the Isle of Wight has said it is moving because the wind turbine factory was located too close to meat processing plant, paper mill.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Ready For Swine Flu?
Swine flu cases could overwhelm intensive care departments, specialists have warned. US planning to isolate many in old GM plants, dealerships closed last year.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Yodellers In Dispute
A dispute over the rights to a popular yodelling song has ended up in a court in the German city of Munich, after the argument began after the popular first season of "Germany's Got Yodellers".
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Toucan Mystery Solved
For centuries, scientists have puzzled over why the toucan's bill is so remarkably large, but now one team thinks it might have an answer: For some reason, the thing simply grows out to that size!
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
New Way To Mend The Heart
Scientists say they have found a new way to mend damage to the heart. Announcement causes many country music singers to cream their pants.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
US Forces Invited To Stay Awhile, See The Sights
Iraqi PM Nouri Maliki has hinted that US forces could stay in Iraq beyond the current deadline of 2011. "Take your time, we have come to love our American brothers, at least we leaders."
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Calcutta Transportation Strike
The operators of private buses and taxis in India's third most populous city, Calcutta, have begun an indefinite strike.
Also, two trains carrying 24,000 people refuses to leave depot.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Second Child Encouraged
Shanghai officials are urging parents to have a second child, the first time in decades that it has actively encouraged procreation. The monetary inducement is leading many to have second child first.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Just One More Thing
Lawyers for Burmese pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi have presented closing arguments, as her trial in a Rangoon prison neared its end. "Now all that's left is the naked gauntlet", stated lawyer.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Gotta Think Small
Report: Calif. needs to think small to save water. Governor Schwarzenegger: "And I'm just the person to do that."
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Obama Appointees Disagree
Treasury, Fed dispute on display in Congress as Treasury Secretary wrestles Fed Chairman Bernanke to the floor, kicking and gouging.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Third Bomb Originally Malfunctioned
Police: 3rd bomb in Jakarta attack malfunctioned, until late police chief Ketut Yoga, saying "What's this?", gave it a kick.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
President's School Stimulus Bill Working
US Schools students to compete for $5B from stimulus law, apparently already have teachers practicing in stimulating them, according to many headlines.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Obama Remarksm Polic Arrest "Unnecessary"
Obama calls arrest of Harvard scholar unnecessary. Police say President Obama's comments unnecessary. Victim: Both full of shit!
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Hillary Draws Insults
NKorea called the Sec. of State a "funny lady" who "looks like a primary schoolgirl & sometimes a pensioner going shopping." Hillary's "pinhead dictator" comment apparently taken in the wrong way.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Bush, Cheney's Final Days
Legacy Fight: Inside Bush and Cheney's Tense Final Days may be in a new book, "On The Rag In DC" to come out in December.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Sunken Roman Ships
Archaeologists find graveyard of sunken Roman ships. So far no one has discovered why they would be hauled out from under water & buried on land.
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Not New Jersey?
Officials are decrying political corruption in New Jersey after more than 40 people, among them rabbis & elected officeholders, were arrested. All in shock after such a thing happening in New Jersey!
written by Bureau, 24 July 2009
Taco Bell Dog Dies
His last words were ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, because dogs can't talk.
written by writingguy, 24 July 2009
