Hot Grease Burns Seven
Whole family suffers third-degree grease burns on feet and legs during cremation of 450-pound sumo wrestler.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
Property Slump
The BBC reported last week that the property slump was at a 10 year low, this week it reports it at a 40 year low. Next week it will be an 80 year low! It will be at an all time low by Christmas.
written by IN SEINE, 27 September 2008
Postman Pat's 21st century makeover will be short lived
The new version of Postman Pat will be cut down to just two episodes, because there will be no more post offices in UK by the time the series goes to air.
written by IN SEINE, 27 September 2008
Postman Pat to be sued by Wallace & Gromit
Postman Pat has been accused of plagiarism by creator of Wallace & Gromit, Nick Park. "Most of the gadgets were invented by me!" he said.
written by IN SEINE, 27 September 2008
Paul McCartney Comments on Death Threats He Received in Israel
"Oy vey!"
written by Gail Farrelly, 27 September 2008
Secret Room Discovered
Reporter stumbles into secret room in White House displaying a huge chair with crown and a replica of thirty of the world's largest cities made of lego spread at it's feet, before being shot in face.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
Police Doing Job
Police in Manhattan have raided an illegal gambling establishment secretly located for years behind a blacksmith shop.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
Think Tank Reports
National Think Tank reports: The Old North Church and The Teapot Dome Scandal tie as the number one question on Jeopardy. Also, Russia attempting to rebuild empire.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
Help Offered
Several near-by theater patrons offer parents of two young boys help in providing proper discipline and correction.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
Garden Plans Thwarted Again
Attempts by NYC suburbanites to dig up small area for community vegetable garden was thwarted by third Mafia victim's body uncovered this week.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
College Prank Turns Deadly
A college prank in Oxford, Mississippi turned deadly Friday after a University of Mississippi freshman goes for fictional record for number of potatoes stuffed up one's ass. He was 20.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
Newman Dies
Paul Newman, Academy Award winning actor of such great movie classics as "Cool Hand Luke", has died after eating 50 boiled eggs.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
Home-Schooler Suspended
A fiften-year-old home-schooler in Little Rock, Arkansas has been suspended for two weeks after phoning in a false bomb threat.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
FDA Approves New Drug
After a six-month study, the Food & Drug Administration recommends the new drug "Phenabarbiedoll" to control seizures due to lead paint in toys.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
No Earthquake
Seismologists say yesterday's 3.3 earthquake near Nagales, Arizona was actually the cave-in of a large tunnel coming in from Mexico.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
Protest In Washington
There was a huge protest in Washington today as senior citizens threatened to place nude photos of themselves on the internet until the price of prescription drugs come down.
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
Alaska Financially Sound
Sarah Palin says Alaska doesn't have any financial problems. "The state is very prosperous and most of our savings are in Fairbanks."
written by Bureau, 27 September 2008
Lancaster arrest
A 28 year-old man from Lancaser has just been arrested for talking dirty to plants, after he was caught making an obscene fern call.
written by IN SEINE, 27 September 2008
New Naval Equipment
The Royal Navy have just taken delivery of a state of the art Naval Destroyer which cost just £5. It is a hula hoop with nail in it!
written by IN SEINE, 27 September 2008
McCain Vote
Obama tells McCain so often that he is right that McCain may now vote for himself!
written by Pointer, 27 September 2008
Mbeki and the Garlic
President Mbeki of South Africa Falls Victim of Strange Illness Caused By Garlic!
written by Pointer, 27 September 2008
Surprised McCain
McCain was shocked to find out Obama was present for debate! If I knew I would have been nicer!
written by Pointer, 27 September 2008
Debate McCain
New action figure "Debate McCain" has a deadly Parkinson's stare straight ahead!
written by Pointer, 27 September 2008
War of the Bracelets!
McCain and Obama debated whose GI bracelet accessorized more patriotically
written by Pointer, 27 September 2008
McCranky
McCranky told new black kid on the block to stay off of his lawn
written by Pointer, 27 September 2008
McCain Shows Obsession with Earmarks!
McCain used the word earmarks 16x in his debate with Obama, clearly alluding to The big O's big ears!
written by Pointer, 27 September 2008
McCain's Asian Worries
McCain told a height conscious Amer-Asian minority that N.Koreans are three inches shorter than S.Koreans where it counts!
written by Pointer, 27 September 2008
In debate McCain calls Obama the N-word
He said he wanted to make him feel at home in Mississippi
written by disciple, 27 September 2008
